Assumptions are dangerous, we sometimes can take little bits of pieces to the puzzle and try to make them fit where they don’t belong. We can look at someone and automatically size them up by the clothes they wear, the car they drive and the house they live in. We label them in our minds as something they are not and pass judgements so easily.
Twisted judgments and assumptions can cause us unnecessary strife. Assumptions generate just about every conflict in our lives. Something happens or someone says something and we automatically assign meaning to and it becomes so easy to characterize people in our minds by these false stories we tell ourselves.
How many times do we rob ourselves of our own blessings? We look at someone and what they have and we think that they are well off, we tuck in our money and compare our selves to them to justify why we shouldn’t bless them. In the very same breath when another person appears to be financially struggling it’s as if that very same money we “needed” we can now use to bless the less fortunate.
We take advantage of the good and exclude the bad, look up to the smart and look down on the simple. The Lord cautions us to avoid such foolish thinking. The Bible tells us that comparing ourselves to others is not wise and by showing favoritism we become judges with evil thoughts. Oh who can understand the twisted and deceitful nature of our own hearts? (Jeremiah 17:9)
Assumptions can effect our thoughts toward others leaving us with skewed motives and intentions. Our flesh wants to justify why we feel the way we do but the Bible says that we should do the very opposite of what our flesh desires and to lean not unto our own understanding and reasoning.
When we allow assumptions about others to dwell in our minds, we can harbor a harmful attitude toward them that can be detrimental to our own soul. We can allow assumption after assumption to just build and build until we have completely built a wall of offense and shut them out of our lives. Before you know it we have walls and fences with barbed wire and we are left divided, isolated and pricked. We can become so dangerously entangled in a mess of lies that the enemy whispers and covered in a blanket of deception that hurts us more than we think.
Most of the time we find ourselves in this type of mess because not one person could come forward and express a hurt, a miscommunication or a misunderstanding. Addressing issues can be uncomfortable and for someone who hates confrontation it can be a struggle. Pride and fear can disguise itself as protection and comfort but when you see it for what it really is - it is a poison that spreads.
In order to avoid assumptions we should ASK, it is that simple. Stop the vicious cycle dead in its tracks by just asking. Let’s not allow dust and dirt to settle in our relationships but clean up the first mess we see by asking and continue to ask questions (without interrogating) until you understand that other persons intent and believe them.
We truly don’t even need to know what the reason behind why they did what they did but if it eats away at us lets not make it more complicated than what it has to be. I’ve been told that assumptions are termites to any relationship and life is too precious to allow division and unforgiveness in our hearts. How unfortunate would it be if we lost out on our walk with God because of an assumption that we have made.
Approaching someone to address an assumption as I mentioned before can be uncomfortable but it’s important to communicate and address every brick that the devil tries to throw at you to avoid any walls he builds to crush you. Whether you’re on either end of the situation being mindful of our attitude is important. We shouldn’t tear each other down with our words and actions if a mistake was made or if a million mistakes were made. We should show them grace and compassion and be able to bring their mistake to their attention without tearing them down and embarrassing them. The Lord forgives a multitude of sin and asks us to forgive our brothers and sisters not 7 times but seventy-seven times.
Days, months and years can go by without a problem ever being addressed. We can stand by our excuses and justify our feelings but at the end of the day we are accountable for how we treat people and if we treat people with indifference it’s a problem with in ourselves that the Lord needs to help us correct, especially when our own assumptions are the cause of the mistreatment. Without the power of the Holy Spirit it is difficult to identify these issues in us but if we humble ourselves in the sight of the Lord and ask God to examine our hearts and bring these things to our attention the Lord will do just that.
I want to leave off with a few scriptures that the Lord has been showing me these past couple of days and that’s in the book of James chapter 4.
1Where do [a]wars and fights come from among you? Do they not come from your desires for pleasure that war in your members? 2You lust and do not have. You murder and covet and cannot obtain. You fight and [b]war. [c]Yet you do not have because you do not ask. 3You ask and do not receive, because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your pleasures. 4[d]Adulterers and adulteresses! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. 5Or do you think that the Scripture says in vain, “The Spirit who dwells in us yearns jealously”?
6But He gives more grace. Therefore He says:
“God resists the proud,
But gives grace to the humble.”
Humility Cures Worldliness
7Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. 8Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded. 9Lament and mourn and weep! Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. 10Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up.
Do Not Judge a Brother
11Do not speak evil of one another, brethren. He who speaks evil of a brother and judges his brother, speaks evil of the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge. 12There is one [e]Lawgiver, who is able to save and to destroy. Who[f] are you to judge [g]another?
Do Not Boast About Tomorrow
13Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow [h]we will go to such and such a city, spend a year there, buy and sell, and make a profit”; 14whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away. 15Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we shall live and do this or that.” 16But now you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil.
May God bless you for your time, I know that this post was a little longer than my usual posts but this one I felt needed to go a little deeper. I would also like to end this blog with an open invitation to anyone I may have offended or if anyone assumes anything of me. I am not perfect and I know I say and do a-lot of things that maybe I shouldn’t have, but I am human and I ask that you please be patient with me.
With Love,
The Graces
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